Q: I have a younger sibling who is emotionally and developmentally delayed. She can be difficult and nasty to me. Her temper is explosive at times and she is very childlike even though she’s an adult. Any thoughts on how I can deal with her?
A: With your sibling’s developmental delay, her emotional well-being is not at the level of her peers. While she is an adult, she should still qualify for special services through medicare or Medicaid. If she has any mentors or coaches, perhaps you can work with them on some ways to handle natural consequences when she treats you in an unacceptable way. If she does not have assistance, you can change your behavior by setting healthy boundaries with her so she understands what is acceptable and not.
Natural consequences are a great way to be in control and not let her control you through her inappropriate behavior. Is she taking any medication for her mood? Sometimes this can take the edge off and help calm her. If she has no assistance from others who work with the disabled, I would look into some organizations that she can belong to so she learns appropriate behavior not only with you but with everyone. One you might want to contact is NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness; nami.org.