Q: I recently moved in with my boyfriend and he totally flipped the switch, broke up with me, and asked me to move out. I was devastated and I don’t know what happened. I don’t know where to turn.
A: I am sorry for your situation and devastation. I realize that it is overwhelming to think of not only the loss but to have to move out and start your life all over. Yet, you have the power within to heal and you will. If you will reach out to co-workers, friends, family, I am sure you will have the support that you now need. If you can seek professional help that will be healthy support as well. You deserve some answers why your partner did this and hopefully, you can get them in order to have closure.
Meanwhile, you may need to stay with a friend or family until you find a place to live. Ask people you know if they know of apartments available, and look in the paper and online. What are some ways you can begin to heal? You can exercise, journal, seek out friends to be with, accept invitations to dinner, go out and continue to believe that each day you are moving toward healing and if you don’t already have a meditation practice, I would recommend that you listen to some guided meditation on healing.
When he pops into your mind, visualize a stop sign and say “STOP.” Shift your thought to something else that is pleasant rather than ruminating on the past. You cannot change it, but you can see it as a part of your life that hopefully had some good and tell yourself better things are yet to come. While these things take time, healing most definitely can and will occur. You have to work through the pain as opposed to trying to block it and medicate it. Continue to remind yourself that each day you are healing and growing more into your authentic self. When you are ready in time, you can begin to look at healthy signs of a potential partner and any red flags (they are there) you will pay attention to and make a healthier choice. In time, you will enter a new enlightened relationship with yourself, others, and the world.