Q: I set a healthy boundary with my boyfriend and he broke up with me. What did I do wrong?
A: You did absolutely nothing wrong. Boundaries are helpful in taking care of yourself and maintaining your self-respect and confidence. You knew your limitations and just because he could not handle it, that is his issue, not yours. Reflect on the good times and continue to be yourself and set healthy boundaries in future relationships so you continue to respect yourself.
When you set a boundary, you are in control and this is empowering. When you feel out of control, that is when anxiety develops and you are more likely to not set healthy boundaries, rather you become co-dependent and will do anything so the partner won’t leave. This type of relationship leaves you feeling weak and helpless. You suffer more in the long run. When you set a boundary, you may be tested, however, you will be respected in the long run.