Q: I have been going out with a new guy for about three months now. I am falling in love with him and he seems great. Do you have any suggestions on how I can know he is the one for me?
A: I believe that if you want to attract a healthy partner, you have to love yourself first. Can you answer that question with a yes? If so, then what you want to watch for is that this partner is totally in alignment with what he says and does. Pay close attention, as this is most revealing as to whether this can be a potential life partner.
I would watch and listen for kindness, honesty, compassion, authenticity, genuineness, alignment, congruence, sense of humor, empathy and laughter. Be sure to focus on the reality of your situation. Did you set criteria and does this person match your criteria? Be honest with yourself and refuse to settle for less. Take time to really get to know this person. You are getting to know him and you are falling in love. However, it takes much longer than three months to really get to know someone. Look at the whole person. Does he still meet your standards?
Do not fixate on this person’s potential. Notice what is showing up in this person now, in the present.
Is he attentive? Is he present? Does he honor and respect you? Is he a good listener? Is he emotionally available?
This will help you determine if it is worth your time and energy.
Pay close attention to your intuition as your inner guidance system knows. What many of us do is ignore what our intuition is trying to tell us. It really can save you grief down the road. You deserve the absolute best. Love and honor yourself first and take your time as you are deserving of love, honor and respect. Open your heart to this and you will have the love and honor you so deserve.