Q: My husband left me for another woman. We were married 20 years. I am devastated and ridden with negative self-talk feeling there is something wrong with me. Where can I turn next?
A: What you have experienced is extremely painful and you are grief stricken. I am sorry you have to go through this pain. Life is challenging enough and now you have an additional burden. I have worked with many clients, both male and female who have experienced abandonment, betrayal, and it is one of the worst encounters one can experience.
First, it is important that you have a support system. It can be clergy, friends, family, counseling, or all of the above. You don’t have to go through it alone. Next, you want to shift the negative self-talk by writing positive affirmations. Even though you may not believe them initially, the more you write positive affirmations down, you will begin to resonate with them. Some examples of positive statements/affirmations are:
- I am a lovable person
- I care about myself
- I am practicing extreme self-care
- I deserve love
- I am a beautiful human being
- I am surrounded with love
Begin to recognize that you have many positive attributes and although you were betrayed, often it’s the betrayer who is not healthy and has a void within. It is now your turn to rise to resilience and get the support you need to do this. Work on being in the present so you can heal the past and move forward.