Q: How can I forgive myself for staying so long in my marriage and inflicting pain on my children?
A: Let’s think about what forgiveness means. Forgiveness means moving on. By forgiving yourself, you release much emotion, whether it be anger, sadness, resentment, that enables you to move on with your life. The past cannot be changed, so it’s best to let go of what was and focus on what is. With unresolved anger, you give your power away.
Do you really want to be giving your power away? Of course not. When you practice acts of forgiveness, you are reclaiming your personal power. Now that is empowering. I don’t know how old your children are, but it’s healthy to have this discussion with them so they can begin to understand what it means to forgive. It is something that begins with you that can be expanded with your children learning this powerful tool. Forgiveness starts within.
When we are in a situation, we don’t always have the tools to remove ourselves. You can and will forgive yourself for staying because perhaps at that time, that was all you knew. That doesn’t mean you did anything wrong. You probably didn’t know how to set healthy boundaries and you didn’t have the proper guidance to learn.
What’s important is that now it sounds as though you are out of a situation that did not serve you. Make peace with this in your heart. Open it and release any old hurt and wounds you are still carrying out into the ethers. It works.
Please feel free to contact me as I can provide you some open heart meditation, and make peace so you can move on.