Q: I have been with my husband for ten years and he is an alcoholic. I want to leave the marriage because he is verbally abusive but I feel guilty and sad. He refuses to get help. He tries to get me to stay but I know it’s unhealthy. How can I leave?
A: It sounds as though you have made a decision yet leaving your marriage, as unhealthy as it appears is very difficult for you. As painful as it is, you may ask yourself is it worth it to you to stay in an abusive marriage? What are you getting if you stay? What would your new life be like if you leave?
It sounds as though you have discussed counseling and he refuses. If you feel you have done everything to make the marriage work, remember that one cannot get healthy for two and he is in need of professional help for his addiction. If you haven’t sought your own counseling, I would encourage you to seek help for yourself to have the courage to leave, work through the grief you feel and for your own healing.