Q: Can you give me some techniques to understand people’s character better?
A: It’s good to be able to read people as a means of getting to know them better or to protect yourself from them. Research shows that words account for only 7 percent of how we communicate. While body language accounts for 55 percent and voice tone accounts for 30 percent. I always counsel clients to watch the behavior of someone and check to see if the behavior is in alignment with what the person says. That can be very revealing.
So I would first recommend paying attention to body language cues. Don’t try and overanalyze, rather be relaxed and just observe and notice. Use your intuition and go with what your intuition tells you. It’s also good to notice someone’s posture, pay attention to their appearance, and you can sense a level of self-confidence with them or lack of. Look at their eyes and see if they make eye contact, lean toward you or away from you.
Often people want to look for signs of dishonesty. While there are no foolproof clues, FBI profilers do observe certain gestures. In men, if they stroke their neck, they are lowering their blood pressure and attempting to be calm. In women, touching the suprasternal notch at the top of the chest can indicate discomfort and attempting to protect themselves.
Another sign of deception can be one scratching one’s nose. Lying can also increase adrenaline and cause capillaries to expand, which causes a person’s nose to itch. During interrogation, it is known that if a suspect moves away from the person interviewing him/her, this suggests dishonesty or avoidance. Pay attention to facial expressions as they can also be revealing.
Allow yourself to let go of any pre-judgments and pay attention to what body language tells you.