Q: I am a 30-year-old man who seems to attract the wrong women. I have a pattern of falling for someone I really like and they end up leaving me for someone else. I’m not sure what I am doing wrong?
A: As a therapist, I look at one’s family of origin and how your development shaped you for adult relationships. Were you in a loving and caring family or was there abandonment or betrayal while growing up? This can have an impact for we tend to subconsciously select a partner to work through issues that we didn’t work through with our parents. If you struggle with trusting in a relationship, that may come off as you are needy or fractured and this could turn a partner away. Just know that you can never truly be abandoned for the Universe has your back and
You might want to make a list, “Design that woman” and write all of the positive attributes you want and know that you may date many women before you feel the right one is in your life. Include those qualities that you want and desire in a partner and take your time to get to know someone before you jump into a relationship.
Pay attention to any red flags and if the person’s behavior is not in alignment with what she says, there is a red flag and it may be time to move on. As you learn to pay attention to what you want and what you don’t want, you will begin to