Q: My husband and I are both teachers and we are retiring this year after 30 years. While we are excited, we have a lot of unknowns and would like some suggestions on how to achieve balance as we go through this next chapter. We are both active. We do have some travel planned. I am writing a book but I don’t know much more than that.
A: Congratulations as you have worked hard and deserve for this next chapter to be your absolute best. While retirement is exciting, it is a major life change. Since you mentioned that you are planning travel, this can be a wonderful start on your journey. It may be helpful for you to talk with a professional about your desires and what you would like to do both separate and together.
Since you are writing a book, it’s important that you schedule an appointment with yourself for specific days to write, and your husband may want to be away from the house during those times.
Since you are both active, it can also be helpful to make some lists of interests, again, together and separately as you will need together time and separate time with your friends and family. If you do see a professional, you can discuss your lists and also you may want to address how your identities will change not being a part of the school community anymore.
When I work with couples who are retired, I have them do an exercise using a mandala, a symbol of wholeness and balance to determine what they each want for themselves and together as a couple. We discuss each quadrant of mind, body, emotions and spirit and see what develops with each individual and together. It really helps set the tone for being in balance and knowing what each person and the couple want for their own balance, harmony and integration in these areas of their lives.
It’s important that you both learn to realign your thoughts so they correspond with your highest desires and the mandala can do this.
Also, be sure to communicate daily and if you want to go somewhere or do something with another individual or group, be sure to communicate this and make sure it’s okay with your partner. You don’t want miscommunication and any surprises that would put you in an uncomfortable position.
Perhaps you know of some other couples who are retired as well that you share common interests with and may want to take some trips together. This may begin as a day to day experience and it will take some adjustments along with way as it is brand new for you both. Make each day a day to be treasured as you celebrate this next chapter in balance and love.