Q: My husband and I recently purchased a new home. I am grieving the loss of our apartment where we lived for 9 years. We got engaged there and experienced so many wonderful things including having our first child. I am struggling with liking our new home. Is this normal?
A: It seems as though you are going through a transition period which includes grieving the loss of your apartment that gave you plenty of beautiful memories. This is totally natural, as we humans tend to resist change, especially when the memories are so positive such as yours. With your new home, give it time to adjust, and perhaps you will want to think about changing your narrative as this can assist you with the changes in your new life you are adapting to. You can let go by savoring the beautiful memories through photos, journals, joy, and happiness while making new memories in your new home. You can begin to even write a new chapter and empower yourself to step out of the whirlpool of your past and chart a new course for your future.
Perhaps you can begin by listing 5 new goals, dreams, or intentions, i.e., things you wish to accomplish within a certain time frame. If you continue to be unhappy with your new home, there is always another home you can own at some point. This doesn’t mean it’s permanent. Perhaps think of a home that would be your dream home, including location, and discuss it with your husband, See if you are on the same page, and begin to design that for your future in the coming years.
Both you and your husband may want to do the home vision/dream together and even look at some homes to get an idea of what you both want and where you would like to settle. You deserve to be happy, so be where you love and take your time to decide where that is.