Q: What is cognitive dissonance?
A: Cognitive dissonance is a defense mechanism where one holds two conflicting feelings and/or beliefs. The New Oxford American Dictionary defines cognitive dissonance as “Psychological conflict resulting from incongruous beliefs and attitudes held simultaneously. The state of having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs or attitudes, especially as to relating to behavioral decisions and attitude change.”
One may experience this in a relationship where two conflicting feelings are held:
1. Remembering the good times and the love for this person.
2. Disliking the person for all of the pain you went through while in the relationship. It causes feelings of unease and discomfort.
Everyone experiences cognitive dissonance to some degree at some point in their life. Some additional signs that you may feel this include:
- Feeling uncomfortable before making a decision or doing something.
- Feeling ashamed about something you have done and feeling you need to hide from others.
- Experiencing regret about something you have done in the past.
- Doing things out of social pressure that you are not really comfortable with.
Some coping strategies to handle cognitive dissonance include:
- Add more supportive beliefs that outweigh dissonant beliefs.
- Reduce the importance of the conflicting belief.
- Change your believe. This can be challenging especially if you hold a deeply held value or belief.
- Becoming aware of how conflicting beliefs impact the decision-making process is a great way to improve your ability to make more accurate choices.