Q: People tell me that I am a perfectionist. I can’t help it. I want everything just perfect. What is so wrong with that?
A: First of all, perfection doesn’t exist. We are human beings who have flaws and vulnerabilities. It is a pattern born out of not feeling good enough. Perhaps instead of striving for perfection, you can begin to shift to using the word progress over perfection. This can come in the form of baby steps and come to realize that good enough is great and you are on the road to being a recovering perfectionist! I would like to add that you acknowledge your own vulnerabilities and practice self-compassion. When we become more loving and compassionate with ourselves, we can acknowledge and embrace our imperfections.
Learn to cut corners, as you don’t have to bake the cake from scratch nor be a Martha Stewart. Author Brene Brown adds, “Perfectionism is a self-destructive and addictive belief system that fuels the thought: “If I look perfect, live perfectly, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame.” We want to be perceived as perfect but that can never happen because there’s no way to control other people’s perception of you, regardless of how much time and energy you spend trying.
Work on developing the mindset that is more committed to doing what you are here to do while progressing rather than being perfect.