Q: I lost my wife of 50 years just over a year ago. I have met someone whom I would like to get to know more. Can you give me suggestions on how to communicate more effectively? My wife and I struggled with this.
A: My condolences on your loss and I hope you are on a healing path. You are now interested in getting to know someone better and what a wonderful beginning as you have the intention to communicate well. We know one of the keys to a wonderful enlightened relationship with anyone is healthy communication, saying what you feel, what you want to say with honest and pure expression. You are making a conscious decision to improve your communication and this will free you up to feel more freedom and expansiveness as opposed to feeling restrictive and constricted. Communication also involves listening and reflective listening, making sure you and your partner heard what the other was saying. Communication can be non-verbal; looking into each other’s eyes, a hug, a touch, a smile. Most importantly, the fact that you want to communicate effectively means you can and you will.
There are times when you don’t agree on things yet with proper communication, you can usually come to a compromise with open hearts. It’s a challenge communicating when things are not good, and it’s in these times when communication is most needed. Communication is a choice and without it, emotions can be left raw and confused. Better to say what you need to say and sort it out when it’s fresh rather than letting it fester as that is when it can get misinterpreted and it becomes a he said she said.
Know that there are no stupid questions and when you honor and respect one another, communication is effective no matter what the challenges are. All my best to you in your new journey.