Q: I have a very demanding career and I have been working long hours. My husband has cancer and his prognosis is not good. I want to be there for him and I need to work and then I feel guilty. How can I do it all?
A: It sounds like you are feeling the guilt and overwhelm feeling you have to be full on for both roles, work and home. I would reach out to get all of the support you can get for both you and your husband. People are happy to help so don’t be reluctant to reach out. It’s ok to cut corners, you don’t have to everything from scratch. Get take out meals and accept others home cooked meals. Take time out for yourself, i.e., practice self-soothing techniques; an Epson salt bath, get a relaxing massage as your muscles are most likely tense, get out in nature and if your husband can occasionally get out with you, that could be healing for both of you. If you can get some exercise in a few times a week, this will reduce your stress level and help with bouts of sadness and depression. Take vitamins, listen to relaxing music, Be open and honest about how you feel. Allow your husband to share his feelings. Ask his friends to visit and distance if he is up for it. It can be a boost for you both.
Have something to look forward to. It may be a short trip, watching a comedy, funny movie, reading poems or inspirational readings. Ask your husband what he would enjoy and it may just be something very simple. Be in the moment. I know you have to have plans in place, yet being in the present will help keep you calm and more centered. If your sleep is erratic, take some natural sleep aids, a glass of warm milk, chamomile tea. Get as much rest as you can. Get as much support as you can and stay in the present moment.