In the light of our current global pandemic, there is tremendous suffering. We watch stories that are happening throughout the globe and we feel such compassion for others and we want to help. While we have good intentions and we can start in our local communities to reach out and help in any way possible, we have to remind ourselves that we must first have our own well filled with self-love and compassion.
You have to know that whatever act, how big or small matters and you are valuable just as you are. Make the best of what you can at this time and tune in as you go. The frequencies on the dial will change. Check in with yourself with a morning meditation practice before you get on with your day. Breathe and give gratitude for all you do have.
The safest and most solid place is right where you are right here and now. Realize that your inner compass will change course.
Be self-aware and accept where you are.Our culture longs to connect yet we may not be sure how to do it. One of our greatest gifts in this time is the ability to give. Giving can come in many ways; a financial donation, taking food to a food bank, shelter or to someone with Covid19, grocery shopping for others in need, reaching out and calling someone who is alone. We have to move and take risks while taking extreme self care. How do we have compassion for self and others without feeling compassion fatigue? I have put together a resiliency action plan that can be a guideline for healthy coping techniques in the days and weeks ahead.
- Get plenty of sleep and rest. I have been talking with clients who are struggling with sleep especially due to all that is going on. Sleep deprivation is problematic enough and especially now with so much anxiety. You might try a glass of warm milk or chamomile tea before bed. Play relaxing music, place some lavender drops on your pillow, and do not have screen time two hours before bed. You may want to play a guided meditation before bed. There are some great apps such as insight timer and calm.
- Practice some self-soothing techniques. These can range from an Epsom salt bath to taking time for a massage (when therapists can work again!), Light a candle, cuddle with your pet, buy some fresh flowers, ask for the magnificent energy of peace and possibility to flow through your mind, body, spirit and emotions. Have compassion for yourself and appreciate what you have. Have an attitude with gratitude.
- Exercise your way. Depending on where you are, if you can get outside in your neighborhood or surrounding areas while practicing physical distancing, a walk, run, hike, bike ride, and anything else that you enjoy is so good for your soul.
- Have personal control. Resilient people have a positive image of the future; that is, they maintain a positive outlook and envision brighter days ahead. Focus on situations and events you have control over. Put your efforts where you feel you have the most impact and you will feel confident and empowered as opposed to spending time worrying about uncontrollable events that can make you feel helpless, powerless and a sense of loss. Empower yourself to be pro-active and in control.
- Permanence. Those who are optimistic have a sense of more resilience and see the effects of bad events as temporary rather than permanent. They have an attitude of impermanence and know that there is a light at the endo of the tunnel.
- Internal strength and coping strategies. Resilient people maintain internal strength (internal locus of control) and coping strategies that help them triumph over adversity. They can bounce back and leap forward to envision a brighter future. They remain calm under pressure and can regulate their stress levels. They have a rational thought process and a healthy self-esteem and self-confidence. They are optimistic and have a life filled with meaning and purpose.
- Have a good sense of humor. I have been counseling my clients to keep a sense of humor through these challenging times. Watch comic relief, funny shows, read amusing books or articles, and be sure to laugh at something (even yourself) daily. Laughter is the best medicine.
- Maintain a sense of balance. If you can come up with some wide range of activities, hobbies, educational pursuits, then you have a senses of balance. Think of a mandala with four quadrants, mind, body, spirit and emotions. Think of how you can balance all of these areas so you can feel the integration, harmony and balance of these areas in your life. You will find they may overlap and that is fine because you are looking at the whole self and the whole is greater than the sum of the parts.
- Practice good health habits. Get sufficient sleep, proper nutrition and exercise, keep alcohol use in moderation, and meditate.
- Maintain a routine. Although you may be technically off your routine, attempt to keep as much of a normal routine as possible. This includes going to bed and getting up the same time daily, exercising, meditating, eating healthy meals, staying connected with others and loved ones.
- Adaptability. Have persistence, confidence, flexibility, accepting what cannot be controlled and using creative problem-solving skills.
- Practice love and compassion for self and others. This is a time when everyone needs acts of kindness and healing. love yourself first, have self-compassion, and you will be so helpful to others from this state.
I sincerely hope that the above coping and resiliency strategies will help you in the days and weeks ahead.