Q: I have a friend who is very judgmental. Everything seems to be negative in her life and I have noticed she judges others about even the smallest things. I don’t think she even realizes she does this. Should I say anything to her?
A: When one judges others, one is really judging the self. As Oprah Winfrey has stated, self-esteem comes from being able to define the world in your own terms and refusing to abide by the judgments of others. My guess is that your friend is allowing her self-worth to be compromised and she is not living constructively. You may want to have a chat with your friend and ask what is working and positive in her life. What she tells you can be very revealing.
We know that life can be good, bad, pleasurable, or painful depending upon your inner thought process. It’s easy to blame or judge others when we don’t want to look at ourselves. It would be helpful for your friend to get some help with developing her own self-worth and appreciate herself every day. She would learn to be less judgmental of herself and others.