Q: I just went through an unexpected loss of a long-time friend. I am angry at myself that I didn’t do more with him in his final days. How can I cope with this anger?
A: I am sorry for your loss. It is never an easy process to lose a loved one we dearly cared about. Anger is a part of the grief process and grief is a part of everyone’s life. You will have to work through it as a part of your healing and forgive yourself by realizing you had no idea of your friend’s impending loss.
You may be bargaining as a part of your grief process. We often say to ourselves “if only” as a means of trying to understand and coming to grips with the loss. Your anger can manifest in different ways. You are dealing with emotional upset and these things take time for healing to occur. Be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to talk about your feelings to those whom you are close to or seek some help from a professional. People don’t “get over” a loss of a loved one, however, they can and do heal in time. There is no magical time that you will heal. You will eventually come to acceptance and the anger will dissipate. Meanwhile, know that you will heal and move forward in time.