How to Ask For What You Need and Feel Good About It

Q: I have a fear of asking for what I need. Then I realize I am overlooked and I build up resentment. How can I learn to ask for what I need without feeling guilty?

A: Do you know what it is that you need? Are you able to differentiate between your wants and needs? As you decide what it is that you need, who do you need it from? Ask yourself why you are afraid of asking? Is it that you have been told no before and you are afraid of the same thing happening again? As you identify what you need, tell yourself that you deserve it and you are worthy of it. Yes, there is the risk of the other person saying no and the feeling of disappointment. However, if you don’t take the risk and ask for what you need, you will never know, and therefore, never grow.

Before you ask the person for what you need, clarify with yourself why it’s important to you and believe it’s worth your effort to ask. This should make asking a bit easier. There is also the possibility that the person will say yes and you will be validated. Visualize yourself asking for what you need with conviction and purpose. Then visualize the other person giving you exactly what you ask for.