Q: I am the single father of a fourteen-year-old daughter. She is getting into trouble at school for various unacceptable behaviors. She is also lying to me and has stolen some things from her school.
A: It sounds as though your daughter is reaching out and she’s choosing inappropriate behaviors to get the attention of anyone; teachers, peers, and you. I would have a talk with her and let her know that you are requesting a meeting at the school and there will be an action plan implemented and there will be privileges for appropriate behavior and removal of privileges for inappropriate behavior. She also needs to return the items she has stolen from her school. You may have to check her room and school bag or backpack to see if there are additional items she has taken that
I would also request a referral from the school guidance counselor to a family counselor for you and your daughter. It’s important to get to the root cause of the situation. Why is she choosing these behaviors when she could choose more appropriate behaviors and get positive attention and reinforcement? Sometimes adolescents act out due to fear. Once these issues can be explored with a professional, then a treatment plan with solutions can be put in place.