Q: Can you give some tools on how to be a better communicator?
A: When you are communicating, it’s good to speak to the best in others. Speak to their wholeness, their wisdom, their, integrity, intelligence, and intuition. Even if you feel critical or judgmental, refrain from being condescending, although at times you want to be. You’ve heard the phrase, “kill them with kindness.”Always take the high road and know that communicating this way will bring out the best in you. Below are some guidelines to help you communicate more effectively:
- If you have to express your feelings, try to do it calmly.
- Be a good listener and don’t interrupt.
- Empathize with the other person’s feelings. You don’t have to fix them.
- If you are feeling attacked, try not to be defensive. Listen then let them know how you feel.
- If there is anger expressed, try and stick to the issue and respond with “I” as to not put the other person on the defensive.
- Take some quiet moments to assess if the person’s heart is closed or hurting. Then compassion will come more readily.
Practice compassionate communication and you will have a sacred exchange rather than a challenging one. This may take some practice, especially when communication can be challenging, yet you will feel better when you are in the moment of cultivating this kind of communication as opposed to feeling explosive or like you are coming unglued.