Q: I’m in my mid-twenties, and it seems to me that women are the ones who do most of the giving while men don’t seem to be equal. This concerns me about future relationships with men.
How can I achieve a balance and more equality with men?
A: Truthfully, I think psychology has a lot to do with this. In this past century, women have gained freedom to live as equals with men. They were taught to believe that they can “bring home the bacon.” However, in the process, women have taken on more structured roles, and we are paying quite a price for our freedom. We’ve taken on men’s roles, and kept the traditional roles of structure, only to pay a huge price.
Women are nurturers and givers of the world. We are genetically and psychologically programmed to take care of everyone. Now that’s quite a task! We have the ingrained ability to tune into another’s needs before men can. We want to do whatever we can to make everyone happy.
We are pleasers. We love to love. Often this comes with a high price tag.
Women often deprive themselves of their own self-care and nurturing. Women often become disconnected at the core of who we are because of this. What is the solution?
Women need a lot of time for solitude and extreme self-care. Instead of constantly giving, we need to learn to receive and be ok with it. This is psychological and spiritual care of self. If women neglect to do this, they will suffer, and so will their relationships.
As a young woman seeking balance, set boundaries with others and please practice your own self-care, or else you risk sacrificing all of you. That will deplete you faster than you know. Create a day, an hour, to give only to yourself.
Always replenish your spirit so you can continue to balance your life without holding onto resentment and emotional burnout. This is something you can feel good about, not guilty.
Also, this is important as you’re learning how to practice self-care, STOP worrying about what other people think. You are enough just as you are. Keep your well full at all times. If you feel it diminishing, take time out for you and replenish.
Every now and then, check in with yourself and experience realness with yourself and only yourself. This is a lifelong process.